I first wrote this post June 2007. I can’t recall why I wrote it but has some serious connection to what I’ve experienced lately with certain people. How is it that we are blinded by what we want to believe to be true that we miss all the red flags?
Lifes Mysteries – original title
Sometimes you wonder, did you do the right thing by that person when you spoke your mind freely? In one hand you would say yes, you did. Sometimes the truth needs to be said across the board.. A truth that everyone knows but for some reason says nothing about. Truths are not always positive. If they were they wouldn’t be truthful. Life is not full of positive truths. Negative truths need to be told just as frequent as positives – that provides balance.
If all you ever hear is that this person does bad to someone you’re close to, you’re going to have a negative opinion of that person. You say ‘tell me something good about this person for once, I can’t see any good in that person if all I ever hear is the bad they do’ and for a sentance or two you hear a few random ‘good deeds’ and the negatives come back. So unless someone else tells you something miraculous those negative truths form the opinion.
If all you ever hear is that another person is so nice and so good, you’re going to have a utopian opinion about them. They appear to be friendly to everyone and thoughtful and giving of themselves. They go out of their way to make everyone happy and comfortable. They treat their partner like royalty and dote on their family. So unless someone comes along telling the tale of their negative truths, everyone believes they cannot do wrong.
Two opposite situations with very similar circumstances.
But sometimes what is really happening in the negative truth version is two people in that relationship do not know how to be in a healthy relationship. There’s negativity coming from both sides. They are both equally at fault for the wrongs in their lives but both refuse to accept responsibility and make changes. Unless someone stands up and says “Look into the mirror and see what the rest of the world sees” they may continue to be blind to the reality of their situation. Yes, in that case you would and should be the voice of reason. But of course to shoot off ones mouth is not the way to achieve a positive resolution but it does shed light on the obvious need for repair.
And sometimes what one person presents to the world is really a cover and will often blind those wishing for it to be true. Sometimes it takes a jaded eye to see the dark in even what appears to be the brightest star. When a person will cover their greed by showering others with attention it is difficult to see and one might over look it in favour of the sudden attention. But it appears clear to those just outside the circle when pieces of the puzzle start coming together over time.
You maybe once thought ‘now doesn’t that seem strange, that person is so giving and sharing but will take away from one who has recieved so little without a second thought?’ And perhaps it comes all at once in a disguised message through another, bitter resentments meant to hurt. A desperate attempt at keeping you at arms length? A jealous retaliation desperately trying to attain some imagined position? No one is ever as good as they appear. There is no balance in that.
There will always be negativity in everyone.
The only way to live is to accept there is no perfection. Everyone will, once in a while will say hurtful things but if they are truths, they only hurt because you know it must be changed. And if someone appears better than gold…they probably have a jealous interior and it’s only a matter of time before it rears ugly head.